Lost

feelinglost

The last couple of days I have been feeling quite lost and not sure what is next in my life. My two final exams are coming up soon and then that will be it for my course. While it is going to be good to finish I also know that the next part of my life needs to start. Time to start a new chapter and at the moment it just looks like blank pages with no sign of what’s next. I have been trying to apply for jobs but having very little luck. I’m at the stage where I am applying for anything, not just what I’ve spent a year studying for and even then I can’t seem to find anything. I know it is a bad time of year to be looking for work but soon my student allowance is going to run out and I am going to need some sort of income. It is hard when you train to get a qualification behind your name but then when it actually comes to finding a job you are no better off. I have a feeling my application for the main department store here got declined so that cuts out the majority of the opportunities I’d get for working at a makeup counter. They have stores all over the country and are one of the few to have makeup counters that need a makeup artist. I’ve thought about moving back home and staying with my parents but ideally I’d like to find something in the area I moved to and be able to support myself here. Life is all a bit confusing at the moment.

The last couple of days I have been feeling really run down and exhausted. I’m hoping its just the stress about what’s going to happen over the next few weeks and not my M.E raising its head again. I am in desperate need of a holiday. Just a few days by myself in a different city to regroup.

Anyone got any advice or tips?

Love, Me

 

Advertisements

Broken and strength

15878056_956013094530838_109693267_o

She held on tight as that’s all she had the strength to do, despite knowing that in the long run it would be better to let go. She couldn’t deal with the hurt and heartbreak that letting go would cause and kept holding on as much as she could even though it still hurt to even do that. There was always a small bit of hope in her heart that things would change and that what she always dreamed about would come true. It didn’t matter that deep down inside she knew it probably wouldn’t happen, she still held on to the hope. They didn’t realise any of this as she kept it close to her heart. Putting on a brave and supportive face when they needed a friend to rant to and acting like she was happy with how things were. Her attention was trying to be caught from others around and no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t focus fully. Some days all she wanted was the constant conversation with people then other times it was all too much and she just wanted to escape and not have to worry about messaging people back. She felt like no one could replace this person and that there would always be a part in her heart reserved for them. The thought of loosing them forever terrified her and she never wanted that to happen. Was she in love? She really felt like she was and loving someone who didn’t love her back was slowly breaking her inside. She needed more strength.

Hello, Stranger.

Right then, let’s get back into it. I’ve been gone for too long and you all have probably forgotten about me but hello there to anyone reading. Life has a habit of getting in the way of hobbies you enjoy and making other things become a priority. Things have settled down a little for me at the moment so I’m back with a probably boring life update.

Makeup Course

It has gone by so quick but I am pretty much all finished with my course now. I have one more thing to finish typing up and then that’s it until the international exams next month. Two more days of classes next week and then it’s all over. It seriously has been a great experience and while I’m excited that it’s finished a part of me is a bit sad. It seemed to go really quick and soon it will be all over. I have also been able to do work experience on some pretty cool things like doing makeup for a short film and doing The Joker and Mad Hatter’s makeup for the local Christmas parade to name a few.

Friends

I have made some new friends over the course of the year who are great. For a while it was hard adjusting to leaving friends behind when I moved but you do make new friends and while it takes me a while to warm up to people it does happen eventually. I’m so thankful for those who are in my life right now.

Love Life

Hah, what love life. No probably a bit dramatic but not much. I have had a few guys in my life over the year who I have been interested in but nothing happens and they end up with someone else. One I kinda regret but I don’t think I would change. It wasn’t a healthy relationship if you could call it that but I like to think I learnt from it. While it did cause me a lot of anxiety and heartbreak, if you will, it was a learning experience. If people are telling you they love you one minute but their actions are telling you otherwise then you really need to stop and think.  Another I hoped would be something more but we are mates and I’m still very thankful to have him in my life in whatever way it is. I think one of my problems is I am still very shy and quiet around people. Mixed signals are also confusing things. I am learning though to not worry about it all too much. I would let things get to me and get me down but I know that isn’t the best thing for me so I am working on getting over those feelings. I keep thinking that those who are truely interested will make an effort and hopefully make it clear. Plus I’ve been single for years so whats another year right?

Chronic Fatigue

This year has probably been the best year I have had since being sick. My fatigue and pain is a lot better now and I am able to do way more. There is still the odd time I can feel it raising its head but it will never come to much. I am hoping it stays away and I am able to live my life more.

Future Plans

Well I am not sure what is in store for me next. Apart from my final exams in January the only other things I have going on is looking for a job. I am not sure where I will be living as part of me wants to stay where I’m living now and or the surrounding cities as I know more people here. The other part wonders about moving back home to be closer to family. The main thing will be where I get a job as that is a pretty important part. I am planning on going home for a week or so which will be good and hopefully help me decide what to do. It is still pretty frightening not knowing what to do or how I am going to support myself. Things will work out though and I’ll always have a place to go if needed. I also want to try blogging more regularly but no promises. Do let me know what you would like to read more about though. I am pretty much happy to write about anything and your ideas are always welcome.

Love, Me

MUA School

As some of you may or may not know I am in school at the moment training to become a qualified makeup artist. I have been doing my course for 3 months now and am learning so much. When I first started I didn’t quite know what to expect so I thought I would write a bit about what we are learning and what my course goes through. Hopefully it gives people some ideas about what else is out there and may help them in deciding what to do or how to go about things.

The course I am doing is ITEC registered. ITEC stands for International Therapy Examination Council. So it is an international qualification that covers a range of beauty and therapy courses. This means that after I’m all finished and passed my exams I will be an internationally qualified makeup artist which would be handy to have if I ever decide to travel overseas and work.

The course covers Retail, Cosmetology and Theatre, Fashion and Media makeup. It is very intense and we are learning lots of new things every week. On Tuesdays we will usually do retail which will soon be Cosmetology then for the rest of the week we will be doing either makeup, special effects or working on our case studies. We are always doing something new each week and cover quite a range of looks.

For special effects so far we have covered things like wounds, scars, bruises, acne, scratches, grazes and will soon be doing burns. In makeup we have done things like day look, bridal and evening looks. Learning about face shapes, colour matching and different techniques. We are now moving onto the more creative and history side doing 1920’s, 1960’s, 1970’s, 1980’s, Fairy, 18th Century, WWII going onto mime and Renaissance next week. Thats just to name a few and we can cover up to two a week. One day we will go over the history of either the era or the makeup and what the makeup was like. Then we will usually have a demo showing us what the makeup looked like so then we can go practice the look. Then on the next day we have makeup lesson we will sit the practical assessment where we do the look properly and style and photograph it. Our marks are based on not only the makeup and techniques but also our appearance and client (which are our class mates) care. Once we have done the practical side of each look we have to do the case study part which includes a lot of typing and often done at home. We usually have to write about the history of either the look or era, write step by step instructions on how to achieve it and often other things that change between each look. We then have to include sketches and drawings which for say the 1970’s would be men and womens clothing, hair and accessories. There is a lot to keep up with but it is good information to have and learn.

I am really enjoying it and there is so much to learn. We will work in pairs for each look and then swap around with others in the class so we can get experience working on different people and skin types which is good. There is a lot of putting on and taking off makeup and you soon get used to going up town on breaks with some different makeup looks.

If you were looking into doing something I would recommend doing a course that was ITEC registered if possible. Not only is is widely recognised but there is also lots of good hygiene rules that you get into a routine of following. Which a lot I’ll be honest I never thought about prior to starting this course.

If you want to follow my week by week journey I’ll be trying to post more photos to my Instagram account of the final looks. So you are more than welcome to come say hi and ask any questions there. (Click here to find my Instagram)

I hope this was of some help or just an interesting read about what I’ve been up to lately. I’m also very much open to any tips or advice you all may have as its good to learn off each other. I am still very new to this and there is always new things to learn.

Love, Me

 

New City New Beginnings

I don’t know how long it has been since I last wrote a blog post but so much has happened in my life lately and I thought it was time I sat down and updated you all on what’s been happening.

The main thing is that I have moved to a different city. After living in the same town for pretty much my whole life I have up and moved about 5 hours away. I am now living in a much larger city than I am used to but I am living out of town in the country which is really nice and peaceful. I do have friends and family here and my brother lives about 10 minutes away from where I am which is really nice. So while that was one of the reasons I moved here the other big part is that I am starting school in a few days to train to become a makeup artist. I think I may have mentioned it before here but it’s actually happening now. I am excited to start my course and get into a routine of things. At the moment I am just getting settled in and working out the bus and how long it will take me to get to class. I managed to miss the bus twice this morning but I did finally end up getting into town and finding the best bus stop to come home from. I will try again tomorrow morning and try catch the right bus. I want to figure it all out before I actually start course. That way I know what I’m doing and where I have to be waiting.

It is all very exciting but I have still been missing home and the friends and family I have moved away from. I became very close to a couple of people and being so far away from them now is hard. I do know that my best friend will come visit me though and I’m sure I’ll be back to visit as well.

My M.E has been a bit better the last couple of months which has been good and I hope it continues to either improve or stay like this while I am doing my course and living up here. It feels like I am at a stage in my life where I am giving things another go. After being sick for a while it’s like I am starting a new chapter in my life and moving forward. The move has been good for me so far even though I miss some people.

I will try and write a weekly update of how things are going with my course and how I am finding things living in a new city.

I hope you all are well.

Love, Me